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Is it a kindness, or the great cruelty imaginable, that no death truly goes unmourned?
I have wrestled with that question for a long, long time, and all that I can tell you is that it is true. The lowliest of bacteria, the last majestic condor, the poorest beggar, the noblest of kings, the simplest spinning top, the finest sword, the humblest spirit, and the mightiest god, everyone, everything, all have someone to weep for them when their time comes. Even the ones with the unenviable burden of Arthur Clavey.
Ah, yes. Arthur Clavey. Reviled by men, ignored by gods, hunted by demons; he died penniless, homeless, friendless, childless, and ultimately, unnoticed. He was first in what would become a string of seven robberies and seven slayings.
I weeped for him.
I weep for all of us.
Put on your armor
wrecked after fights
hold up your sword
you're leaving the light
-- Keeper of the Seven Keys, Helloween
There are times, usually in fact, that I absolutely love my job as a computer lab assistant. Whenever someone has a question on how to do something with a computer, almost always simple stuff, I answer it. The pay's not the best, but it's easy work, and it gives me an excuse to be in the computer lab constantly. And best of all is that when I'm not answering questions, I surf the web.
I get paid to surf the web and to show off. Can there be a better job?
Of course any job, even my dream job, has it's low moments. When you have to tell a person the same thing five times in a row, for example. Or when the lab is flooded beyond capacity and you're the only one on duty. But the really bad times are when the lab is deserted and, for whatever reason, the internet is either down, or being uncooperative, creating an unpleasant combination of boredom and frustration ('server is down or is not responding' quickly became my least favorite phrase in the English language).
Like today.
Today a couple of things are a bit different though. First off, I've got my brother here to keep me company, though he's just as big a netaholic as I am, and therefor just as frustrated, bored, and short-tempered as I am. The second is that, except for one lone security guard playing Asteroids on his computer in the security office and us, the college is deserted.
Wishing again, that I'd brought a book or a tape player or a deck of cards or something, I just give up and start roaming my eyes around the room, looking for anything I haven't seen a million times before. If I don't find something soon, I may actually have to crack open a text book (they're not books, they're torture devices) and do some homework. With little hope, my eyes wander over to my brother's computer (yes, he has a name, but neither he nor I acknowledge it) and light upon his screen.
Can you believe that not only was he on-line, not only has been on for quite a while, he was wasting it in a bleeding chatroom of all places? (It was a role-playing chat room, so I'll let him live...). Still, it's a good thing that it's back up (it would have been even better if he had told me, note to self: beat him about the face and shoulders later) as I finally log on to my webpage for some serious updating.
I'm about to test my first attempt at javascript when... god this sounds so cliche (I've never heard of this before, but for some reason it seems a bit overused)... the top of a head pops out of my screen. Said top is soon followed by the rest of a head and eventually an entire person falls out of the screen on to my lap, knocking me over and causing the back of my head to hit the wall with a loud 'thunk'.
My vision decides to go wiggy for a moment. Just when I'm starting to enjoy the pretty flashes of light, my vision clears, revealing my brother standing over me with a smirk on his face that I'll have to knock off later. In his right hand is a much-appreciated bottle of Aspirin. With a muttered, "thanks", I take the Aspirin, throw my head back, and dry-swallow the bottle (I already know that there's only three pills in the bottle, a normal dose for me).
His left hand he has a croquette mallet held high, just out of reach of short black haired girl who is jumping up and down in a vain attempt to get the hammer.
Now what the hell am I doing on the floor with a headache the size of my ego? I review what had just happened, frustrated over the web being screwy, seeing my bro in a chat room, adding javascript, being knock off my chair by a person coming out of my monitor... ah, I nod sagely to myself, causing the room to swim a bit more, that's what happened. Well, time to make my wakefulness known to the girl.
"You know kid, you're a real headache." Ouch, not the wittiest thing I could say, but I'm in a lot of pain so I make due. Still, it has the desired effect of getting her attention.
"That was NOT my fault!!", she yells as she puts her hands on her hips, "If you would just let people come in with water, I wouldn't have had to come that way!"
I stay quiet for a moment, my vision clearing enough to finally get a good look at my small assailant. Long, and I do mean long, and thick black hair flows down to about her ankles. She looked Caucasian, with a bit of Asian for flavor. On her forehead, a bit lower than where the Hindu third-eye would be, is a blue inverted teardrop tattoo. She also has a similar mark on each of her cheeks.
"May I PLEASE HAVE MY HAMMER BACK?!?!", she wails as she resumes their jumping game where they left off.
I'm in no mood, and no condition, for this kind of nonsense. "Bro, what have I told you about taunting supernatural beings? Give the girl back her hammer so that my ears will stop bleeding," I say in a voice that's a bit more stressed that normal.
"Nope, not till she apologizes," he retorts, crossing his arms and almost bringing the hammer within the kid's reach.
I'm touched actually. My brother, normally a royal pain in the ass, actually doing something remotely close to resembling nobility. I fight to keep a tear from my eye.
"All right, I'm sorry I messed up the Internet on my way here, HAPPY!?" she yells as she glowers at my brother.
Must control... fist of death. Ah, siblings, can't live with them, can't get aspirin without them.
He nods and hands her that mallet, handle first, while I crawl back into my chair. She looks it over the way I used to look over comics, looking for any slight imperfection. Seeing that he hasn't damaged it any, she turns to me, making a visible effort to calm down, and says, "Let's start over, I am the goddess Skuld, and I am here to grant you one wish."
I digest that for a moment. My brother snorts for a moment. "A wish," I repeat.
Skuld nods, "It's considered the highest honor the gods can bestow upon a mortal. A wish, without limitations or restrictions, save those you place yourself."
I digest some more. "Just out of curiosity, what have I done to merit this... honor?"
She shrugs, "I don't really know. Your file wasn't available before I had to make the trip here. It must have been pretty good though."
Hundreds of possibilities fly through my head. Money? Sex? Knowledge? A photographic memory? Getting rid of this damn headache? But why stop there? No restrictions. Immortality, my own planet, godhood even, are all possible.
"No thanks," I say in a weak voice. The two hardest words I've ever said in my life.
Skuld frowns, "What do you mean, 'no thanks'?" she asks in a soft voice.
God, my head, it's getting worse. "First off, I'm in no condition to make major reality altering decisions." Skuld has the decency to look ashamed. My brother looks at me with something remotely resembling concern.
"Second, I don't really believe you." She opens her mouth to retort, but I hurry on, "I mean, I know you're supernatural and all," or at the very least, she has some very cool technology, "but how do I know you're really a goddess. You could be a demon, or a jinn, or something worse. And even if you are the real Skuld, you don't exactly have the best reputation." She suddenly seems to finds the pattern on the rug quite fascinating.
"Which leads to the third reason. How do I know you won't twist my wish to doom and destroy all humanity, or something? Hey, I've seen Wishmaster... twice." Her head snaps up with an indignant look on her face.
"But, they don't really matter, especially the first one. Nope, the real reason is, if I understand you right, this wish has no limits." She nods, biting her lower lip. "In other words, for one single act, I am God. I can't do that. I'm not a God." I manage a weak grin while that particular revelation blows my brother away. "I don't have the wisdom to be one."
Skuld looks at me, "Are you sure you won't reconsider? This is my first assignment and I don't want to blow it." Her voice is very soft and I can see tears in her eyes.
Damn it! I can feel my resolve crumble (or is that my skull? Sure feels like it's splitting.) under the triple onslaught of my temptation, my headache, and my soft spot for kids. "Well, maybe," I say reluctantly.
Now what? I need a wish that won't blow up mama earth and/or get me killed. Something ironclad, something that can't be turned against me. Of course, I blurt out the first thing that pops into my head...
"I wish that we could do something to make the world a better place." Where the fuck did that come from?!?!
Skuld, if that's her real name, gives me a short nod and starts glowing a pale blue. And the world changed.
Author's Notes (or, in my case, meaningless ramblings used to pad the file)
Well, no doubt the first question on my reader's minds (both of you) is "Would you really make that wish?" Under normal circumstances, no way, but I'm suffering from a head injury so my altruism is explainable.
Some other questions you'd probably want answered:
Why is this labeled a song fic?
Believe it or not, this is inspired by the song "Keeper of the Seven Keys" by the band Helloween. If you don't know it, try to find it. It's an awesome song, even for Heavy Metal. Expect a lot of music references in this fic.
What happened at the end?
Heh, we've just been moved to another anime universe, specifically Bubblegum Crisis. Somewhere in Megatokyo is the first of the seven keys and I've got to find it before the demons do.
Demons huh? You mean Mara?
Maybe. All things are possible. (God I love being mysterious).
What did you do to qualify for a wish?
Beats me, I was just as surprised as you are.
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